Do you ever just feel like you need a break?
I do. I am always worried about fulfilling my obligations, being the best wife, student and friend I can be. That means that 99.9% of the time I will do what I need to do regardless of how I feel about it. I know this is a problem not everyone suffers from, but I do.
I had a very bad no-good kind of day on Monday afternoon with an instructor. We have some, uhm, miscommunication happening and it got ugly. By ugly I mean I was furiously angry, and (those of you who know me well will know this is completely shocking) I actually started crying I was so insulted and angry. Yup. Not so good. (I think the last time I actually cried was when my mom was hospitalized in the Fall of 2010).
Of course after that I was just all emotionally riled up and that is exhausting. I had some awesome friends stay with me for a bit to commiserate and console me (Thanks August and Kristin!) and of course Christopher was there for me. But the emotional drain still took its toll.
Luckily yesterday I didn’t have class until late in the afternoon (different instructor) and so I went for an 8.5 mile walk to a) train for my half marathon and b) try to work all the emotional bad juju out of my system. It took me about 2 hours and 45 minutes. I wasn’t walking for speed, but for time on my feet and distance. I felt really good physically and I am not sore today, so that is awesome. It was also really just a great mental therapy walk. I got to think and think and hash out how I was really feeling, and be really honest with myself about what my perceptions were about the situation.
With all that said, this morning I really just felt like I wasn’t quite done with my “me” time. I am still feeling really kind of raw and sour about the whole situation and it has just kind of spilled over to “college” in general. I will get over that, but at the moment I needed a little space, a little breathing room.
So I didn’t get up out of bed at 6:30 this morning. I didn’t make lunches. I didn’t rush around making sure I was 100% ready for my day. I stayed in bed. I slept. I snuggled with my kitten. I got up and sat in the sun. I have worked in my garden. I have planted some more stuff. I walked around my yard and garden and looked at all the plants and flowers. I chased my kitten around the yard (she loves that!). I cleaned up my house. I pulled some fish out of the freezer for dinner. I have just taken a little bit of time to do what feels right for me.
I realize that not everyone always has the opportunity to do that and so I am that much more appreciative of this quiet day to myself.
I do have some homework that will get my attention a bit later today. I have a few errands I am probably going to go run. A friend said she might drop by for a visit. It is a good day. I will be back to reality tomorrow and will have to deal with this issue, go to school, make lunches, and fulfill my obligations.
But just for today I am declaring myself the most important thing “to do” and am engaging the world in a way that fulfills me in a purely enjoyable way.
Do you take mental health days? Why or why not?